WWND: What Would Naylor Do?

07Jan10

With the ballot approval of 5 of 6 Matt Naylor-driven referenda in last night’s Council meeting and a pledge by the aforementioned Arts Man to collect the required signatures to push the EPIC slates question through, this election is taking on a decidedly Naylor-esque focus.  In fact, perusal of our (rather limited) files would seem to indicate a decidedly Naylorean focus to a lot of political events ’round these parts.

In last night’s happenings, Naylor was named Chair of the Legislative Procedures Committee, effectively making him Chairman Naylor and cementing his title as the robust ruler of AMS Council. There is a war raging on campus, as evidenced in last night’s meeting, between the current President and the People. Naylor has begun the Long March towards 1000 signatures and will not stop until his archnemesis Stalin Blake Frederick is held accountable for his rendezvous <insert human rights jokes here>.

Whether you want to sound smarter & more politically involved to that cutie sitting next to you at debates (come on, you know all this power stuff just turns you on), or you’re a member of UVSS who’s determined to follow mainland happenings, here are a few terms to drop in the next three months before the big man finally, like all student politicians, graduates.

Naylorism: A lengthy comment characterized by verbal free-wheeling, grandstanding, or at least one reference to something one holds dear, i.e. an established office or Democracy—bonus points for condemning, in the midst of this, Tim Chu.  A Double Naylorism can be achieved by following with a wry comment, being cut off by Speaker Dave, or inadvertently spitting/pounding the table with your fist.  A Triple Naylorism requires a shot of Aquavit just to get started.

These positions are not to be used as personal chew toys – ignoring relationship maintenance is the same as ignoring the UPass – it is a vital part of the portfolio left undone.

The AMS is very sick. It is in need of more structural reform than I could have imagined. The people who are elected to serve it … are being deceitful, disingenuous, disorganized, disrespectful … [and are] responsible for shattering the Society’s democratic safeguards.

The Olympic legacy on campus could be far more than a new arena – I am concerned that it could represent the opening of the floodgates in terms of the abuse of civil liberties on campus.

Meta-Naylorism: any Naylorism which includes a self-aware reference to cult geek fandom, e.g. Star Wars, Star Trek, BSG, Buffy.

Giles: “I’ll have you know that I have very, um, many relaxing hobbies.”
Buffy: “Such as?”
Giles: “Well, um…I enjoy cross-referencing.”

– Naylor on Lexis-Nexis

Naylorite: 1) A devotee of all things Naylor, particularly those who own two or more former Naylor campaign materials.  2) A political ally who benefits from Naylorean enthusiasm/epic Naylorisms, whether or not their support is widely expressed.  3) Taylor Loren, total Naylor groupie (who was near tears when proxying for him last night), ruiner of any shred of supposed journalistic neutrality/integrity, as evidenced by this Top Secret File:

Witness.

*For context: “Naylorism” Quotes One, Two, and Three.

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